As a human, I’ve always had dreams, aspirations, things that I really wanted to do. They were usually things that proved my worth. I stand at 4 feet 10 inches tall. About knee high to a grasshopper. So I have a serious case of little woman syndrome. All the careers I’ve ever wanted involved something much bigger than me and pretty dangerous. I mean right before I had my second child I was in an interview for a prison guard! I’ve had this mentality that I needed a career that 1) made me feel strong. 2) helped other people. 3) was meaningful. 4) had room for growth. And 5) made me feel larger than life. Money was never an issue.
I had been told most of my life… well your so beautiful and you can really fix hair well. That’s what you should do. And so that’s what I did. I have been doing hair for 7 years and while I absolutely love doing hair and making men and woman alike feel great about their appearance I felt like I needed something bigger. I mean this is what people expected of me right? I can make people pretty. I felt like I had something to prove. This is when I enrolled in college for correcitions. Then I had my daughter. I kept pushing on with school and work while raising a child. I mean lots of people do this and do it well. But I was struggeling to keep up. I wanted to be a good mom but I needed a career. I needed to do something useful with my time. Something that mattered. It wasn’t until after becoming pregnant with my son did I realize that I was already doing the most important job, and it met all my criteria. Being a parent/guardian of children is hard work. It takes time, dedication, patience, perserverence, and commitment. I really thought I needed this big shot career to be somebody. But raising my children and being the sombody that they needed was good enough.
I don’t mean that lightly. I read another post by a fellow blogger *Skylarity. Josiahharry.com* who made a great point about the process and whatever you do, put in the work if you want a great outcome. I was putting so much effort into this “needing to prove myself through a career” that I was missing my greatest career; I was missing my greatest adventure. Being a parent. A parent that is present, dedicated, and committed.
If your a parent feeling like you need to do more. That you aren’t adding value to your home because you aren’t out there punching the clock; the marathon your running at home with your children will be worth winning! Don’t run too fast. Take the time, savor the moments, and save the memories. And There is no doubt that in the end we will have 1) been our strongest in our weakest moments. 2) Helped the most important young people in our lives. 3) Made a meaningful impact. 4) Have grown tremendously through all the ups and downs. And 5) made ourselves feel larger than life. But most importantly grew, shaped, and molded a beautiful life.